Scared Of Lonely

Someone has broke our hearts and after the crying,  the rage, and sadness, the loneliness creeps in. It creeps in  late at night when your laying in bed and your mind wont shut up. It creeps in when your scrolling on your timeline, and you see that “picture perfect” couple. When your driving and you pass that restaurant where you had the first date, or in most times your memory of them wont let you feel free. It feels like your  heart isn’t even beating inside your chest. This feeling is uneasy, unwanted, and scary. We try to calm it with working, exercising, drugs, alcohol, or the perfect song to drown out the emotions we feel. But when all these mechanisms wear off and we’re alone with just our thoughts, there it is coming back to steal our happy.  But what if I told you loneliness isn’t a “I” thing, its a “we” thing. Everyone gets scared of lonely,  followed by the what if’s. What if I would’ve done this? What if I would’ve said that? What if I take them back? What if I change who I am?… and so on and so on of the excuses and the blame game.

I wish I could tell you a  secret  remedy that would make all the emotions you’re feeling disappear. Don’t we all wish there was a magic word we could say and we’d all feel whole again? And no matter how hard we wish and how hard we try its not going to just poof and be gone. There’s no abracadabra, no cure, no one shot deal, to happy. There’s no one road that leads to inner peace. Only thing I know is that the feeling wont last forever, and  in time and with faith you will find  that you control how you feel.  You control your emotions and all the power you ever need is within you.  You will wake up one day, and feel relieved. Relieved of whatever and whomever made you feel incomplete. The  void, the hurt, the  emptiness, it wont be there anymore. No more self doubt, no more feelings of unworthiness, and no more what if’s.

Now close your eyes and picture yourself in this moment. Imagine waking up and all you feel in your spirit is joy. Joy for the live you’re living, the future you are going to have, the dreams you’re going to accomplish. The mistakes that made you better, the battles that made you stronger. For every sleepless night, for every tear cried, for the pain felt, love lost, and for each day you thought you couldn’t bear with out them.  Do you feel it? Can you feel it? Now open your eyes and each day forward fight like hell to live in this moment eternally.

Nakia Brooks



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